I miss everything, do you?

2014 almost comes to the half.

Hello June of 2014.

2014 didn't treat me as good as I thought. I received too many bad news this year. I can barely hold this anymore. When was the last time I cry? It is just so close.

*******
I start to miss everything, the past of everything. I miss the happy moments when I was a kid, with no worries. Now? Most probably because of I never did all those things with fully hard works. I admit I was playful & slacky.



So basically everything was shiz. I don't know why did I hold on for so long. Even if I already knew that I was the one who thought IT still there. But, IT still hurts me a lil. Yes, I am living in my imaginary but will end this asap.

Nah, this suits me best.

 

 

 

 

Anyway, I am planning to go Melbourne for vacation. Advices / suggestions anyone?!

 

 

 

P/S : Writing all these just want to release my so-called-pressure (even everything was just small matters, stupid). I WILL NOT suicide like those people in the newspaper okay, I am open-minded.

I got it! After asdfghjkl times,

I was officially 17 last year but I delayed my L licence until last 4 months.

Sitting in the Undang room is so,

First, I was sitting in the middle with anonymous #foreveralone
Second, the lecturer talks so boring & slow!
Third, Sitting in there 6 hours really can sleep & I slept, heh!

At least he has talked all the main points so I passed my test with EXACT 42! /happydieme.
And I went to amali straight after I passed. Again another long hours but fortunately the lecturer has a sense of humor, if not I can die sitting there for 3hours.

Miserable part should be driving! I have to wake up at 6 in the morning & prepare for my driving class at 7!

***

Ugh stop crapping. So,

I TOOK 3 TIMES FOR TEST!

There's nothing to be proud of. /slap-self/

Wasted so much money & time just to get it -________-;

Back to 2010,

Received heartbreaking news. Till now I still can't take it. How I wish everything is just a dream.

The lil us were immature all the way long. We naughty, lazy, talkative, ignorance, sleep in the class & so so on. Your talks really touched me & I think I need to have self-change now.

Yes, thanks for guiding us. I'll bear in mind.

The one who inspire me is gonna leave soon. The one who I care isn't in good condition. Some of my school teachers are going to give birth and I might missed a lot.

2 July, that so we call 1 Malaysia Run was epic. Of course all the students around the Malaysia have to attend this event. But my school just had 1.5km run around the school compound, how boring. Funniest thing was Futsal game. Everyone like fighting for the ball then kick it out of the field, funny!

At night, I went Catholic High School for their 5th Night Gathering. And their theme, B.O.N.D. Build Our New Dreams. I love the way they set up the gadget & the open ceremony. It was epic awesome! Thumbs up for that. Thanks to them, I had a fabulous night. My schoolmates should know how fabulous it was. Especially in the bus, with the medley songs. 

I love you, you love me. We are happy family!

Can you see how tough am I to be like this?

Opps, i almost forget something! I should take this post as my appreciation to everyone. Thanks those who wished me. Really really, I'm really happy & touched. Thanks you guys for willing sacrifice your 2mins study time & your sleeping time, maybe? I'm laughing at you all touched.

My senior page is almost done. Just left with 2 pictures with making me really frustrated. I almost gone mad because of it, wait. I'm already mad now. I hate waiting all the time. & what should I do now? Wait for em' to send the picture to me or ignore them? Ugh. Is sending a picture hard? I've been asking them since 1 month ago! Don't make me yell at you okay. I don't wanna to do that.

Holidays is almost here. So it is time to plan for holidays now! First week of holidays kind of suffer for me. But it is okay, take it easy. Teachers wasted their precious time to come early in the morning to teach us too. So my first week will be like semi-college life, 3 days of extra classes. Opps, not to forget tuition too! Second week will be fun, fun, fun, fun!

Problems always around. Just like now, I had another problems again. Fml.

I bite you,

Saw everyone start to active their blog now & reminded me I'm still here.

3 freaking weeks past, say freedom! But now I have a feeling of lonely now. For the past 3 weeks I had books accompany me but now? Back home, face the walls, lay on bed & start to sleep, such a boring life. I miss you exam, but my heart is aching.

It warms your world.

Ting is making me jealous. She is gonna attend OiC Camp which I was despo for it. And she assigned the Fashion Style course! Aw Ting, you better bring some knowledges back for me. I had depression these days, because of several particular tiny tidy reasons. Sorry, mood swings again.

Senior page is giving me another headache. Why is people doesn't want to give co-operation? This is really pissed me off. Don't blame me if I missed out you.

You don't know me,

Yay to myself, i deleted lot of my memories today. If you can check out what I've remain, I only remain last year's & this year's. No doubts, without any regrets. I don't wanna to left myself behind with those full of hatred & sadness posts. In short, I need to get a life.

So I left 230 posts here. Rewind back to the past & I could only see how childish & silly I am. Last time I always thought that I'm enough old to lecture people like mama & papa do. Even now I look back, I'm still childish. Oh Lord, please forgive what I've done, all the stupid & silly things.

Have you ever been to Genting Highland? And what would you do on there? I'm going there for 4 days 3 nights? Of course it is going to be very boring since I've been there for hundreds times since first time I went there. But my vacation there is just like in a big villa. There's golf, swimming pool & garden around. And I, going to do my revision. Isn't our brain love fresh air under a conducive condition? So I guess I going absorb more than here.

Relax, just another way to make myself calm.

3 days more to end of my hell. Welcome back my heavenly life.

Found something interesting here.

There's big differences when you're begging your girlf to forgive you, HAHA.

Let me make things clear, (this is serious)

You better know it.

Cr : WeHeartIt

Incomplete me,

One week past, 2 weeks more to go! Mid-Year exam made my life miserable. I promised myself not to online but what am I doing now? You know that. Weather changed vigorously these days. Past 4 days was extremely hot but it started to rain yesterday.

Why you always come without any sense of expectation?

Why am I online now? Because I reward myself for finishing Chapter 1 of History, haha! Okay it is not a big deal but I need some rest since I wasted 2 hours on master this chapter. Imagine there's another 14 chapters to go. /die

Here comes my schedule for revision!

Saturday - History
Sunday - Physics & PJK
Monday - History
Tuesday - Biology, Moral
Wednesday - Biology
Thursday - Biology
Friday - History
Saturday - Chemistry
Sunday - Chemistry & History
Monday - History
Tuesday - Mathematics

Lots of Biology & History I know. No choice, since I'm weak in both. Every second is my previous time. I shouldn't waste my time fooling around. 185 days more to SPM! I should start to make up my mind, make things clear.

I'm going to renovate my blog soon. I've got my aspiration from one of my blogger friend. Haha, nice layout she had & made me jealous lots. Haha, I should start my hobby again. It was my hobby when I was form 2. And I quit because of particular reason.

I was gazing, & I found it.

Freaking no 450 post is gonna talk about my second standardized exam. FYI, I did not very good in most of my subjects, except Mathematics and Biology. Human is weird, when they got high achievement on something, they'll start to love it more. Indirectly saying, who doesn't want to be praised? That guy will be really stupid.


I'm really disappointed on my English paper srsly. I didn't get A, not even a A-. Yes I admit my English is not that good, but I'm trying to improving myself now. Hah, teacher suggested us to write diary & let her have a look? My God, who wanna relieved their secrets to anybody? So I choose blog now. Blog as much as I can, use as more new vocabulary as I can. But, I can't think of any seriously.

12 new words enough for the upcoming days!

Exam is coming soon. Let's study people. Aim for the best. :)

心情地带,

今天是雨天。我的心情也跟那雨一样，慢慢地下落，渐渐地沉默。是我想太多？还是心理作用？每一次的雨天，我都会显得特别安静，有一种很孤单的感觉。

刚刚站在门口遥望整个天空，乌云密布，雨丝纷飞，真叫人叹气。雨越下越大。粗大的雨点打在对面屋顶的瓦片上，掀起了一片片的小水花，像一成薄烟，笼罩在屋顶上，随风飘来飘去。雨水顺着屋檐流了下来，就好像断了线的珠子向下堕落，罗来练成了一条线，直冲向下，流入沟渠，地面都是一片水。斜打着玻璃窗子，像点着了一串串的连珠鞭炮。加上音乐播放器竟然每首歌都播着失恋歌曲。感觉上我好像刚刚失恋一样。只欠我没哭泣而已。

从小到大，我都觉得，天会下雨是因为有人做错了事，所以老天才会开始哭泣。今天，又有人做错事了吗？日本的居民怎么样了？大家还好吗？看到AK在微博上写着日本的情况，真叫人心疼。近来发生不愉快的事太多，这样一连串一连串地发生，让我不知所措。我无能为力，只能一直祈祷。虽然不比实际的行动好，但只要心有佛，佛也会在我们的身边，帮助我们。昨天看到新闻报道说小数的中国人在庆祝日本东京被海啸和地震侵袭的事件。这也太没良心了吧？虽然在18世纪日本人真的很残酷。但他们的政府不是所愿意照顾那些曾经被伤害的家族吗？如果不是日本，我看在科技方面都还远远抛在后头吧？真是不应该！

面子书上都在传明年世界末日的事实。但大家有没有想过？这些都是那些不负责任的人们造成的！随地的乱丢垃圾，焚烧垃圾，杀害野生动物只为了得到个人的利益，无节制地砍伐树木等等。这些都不是人类造成的吗？如果不是，那是谁呢？所以大家都有责任保护地球。今天开始不要再做些没道德的事了。不要等别人，因为等待是没有结果的。如果每个人都等某人行动才行动，那地球更快灭绝。那倒不如现在开始行动？虽然迟了些，但一点一点的力量，可以延迟一点地球即将灭绝的来临。

从雨开始写到雨刚刚停。主啊，你真的听到我的心声吗？既然世界掌握在你手中，那么请你让这地球长久下去。

P/S: 说了这么多，现在都还没完成我的功课。╭(╯^╰)╮
*P/S：音乐播放器啊，你可以不要再播放那些让人听到想哭的歌吗？还是我的电脑太多伤心歌曲啊？⊙﹏⊙b汗

Now playing : JYJ – I Can Soar

Six-sixth,

I got back, er, 1.. 2.. 4 papers today. Everything turned out over my expectation, thank god. I srsly have no comments on this term papers. In fact, I saw the truth behind all over the things. I was thinking that, "Did I really make a good choice?" "Should I quit?" & other negative thoughts.

I'm being emotional these days. Amy & I were both talking about holidays plans & I almost started to cry when comes to it. I was thinking that, my grandma is still suffering in hospital how could I having fun over here? And so many problems come to my life again. Although it is not my problem but my sister, but I really hope everything goes well for her. God bless her.

I told my mum that my teacher read my hand & bla bla so on. She just ask me, "Why do you have problems? You're supposed to study. So your problem is just how to score." I was thinking that, "Hahah mum, everyone has their own problem. Even your problems can be mine too."

You failed, you fall.

I think I should go on for a vacation to relax my mind.

I found it far away,

Oh yeah, I’m no longer hiatus since my examination ended today. All the papers go pretty well except for my Physics. I think I’m going to fail it since I didn’t read & ready for it.

My math’s teacher reads my hand today.  At first I just agree with her with some. But after that I thought twice while sitting in the bus. I agree that I really keep everything to myself because it is not a must to tell everything out. & everyone has their own problems, why should I tell my problems to others and let them worry about that? She also said that she told my senior friend about her problem and end up she cried. Well, I don’t feel like crying but I feel touched. And my mind was thinking that.

“Thanks teacher, at least you know that I’m having problems.”

People might think I’m happy-go-lucky person but actually I’m not. Sometime I feel depressed over something but I don’t know say it out. I dislike this or hate that but I just let it be and try to compromise with it. Then she said that I’m a complicated person. I was like hahaha. But I think again, it is a yes. I can’t understand myself well but others people can. Nobody can understand self better than people’s eyesight. Maybe you think you understand well but it is just physically not attitudes or what. There’s a say in Chinese,

“Maybe you’re in confusion, but others can see through it can get it right.”

Up till 16, now only I know that people thinks I’m a complicated person. So yes, everything she said is correct.

Opps, I think should be today :)

Since when it happens?

jondaenmal (존댓말) or banmal (반말)?

I'll choose jondaenmal languages while taking to you. 

No doubts, I don't know what happened, just that.

It's the time to make it true.

Everything change.

My Chinese New Year is kind of boring this year. Even the fireworks just not as interesting as last year. But surprisingly, I can see stars there. Not just one, but lots! That's something I haven seen for ages! The stars just twinkle like, so breathtaking! Luckily my childhood places haven changed much and the air there still fresh.

Anyway, I not gonna talk about my celebration of New Year this time. Because there's nothing interesting to share about.

Well today is the school reopen day, our school is gonna have a small "hall" since the roof is already up! Anyway, I don't know why, I feel like it is a waste, this is just my point of view. Srsly I don't know why our principal suggested this project out. I know the sunlight is getting brighter and hotter. But we only have our assembly one in two weeks. And the teachers just have to stand for around 30 minutes for it. What for we need this? I think it is better we renovate our library. All the books, tables, chairs, computer, system, sofa.

EVERYTHING NEED TO CHANGE! 

My elementary school's library is not as cool as my primary school's. My primary school's library has air-cond, nice cushions, lot of books from all around the world, everything is computer's system. So far, this is the best library I went before.

I'm kind of emo these days. For some particular reasons. So I fell & felt it.

Show em' what's your worth.

Last 17 hours, was hanging' out with my friends, buddy, partner, bestie, BFF. First outing in 2o11, for me. Hmm, wonder when will be the next? I think we are getting busy & busy since this is a form 5 life.

Shopping around & bought a Tee. It's the same with that threeeee bffs. If you ever get a chance & hang out with us, you'll see it, Hehs. Whatever you think, I don't care. Bitchin' around, that's your problem. I may rude or impolite to you. What are you going to do? Talking bad all the way? Cursing all the way? Okay, I'm not gonna sacrifice my 12millions of cells on you. Respect if you wanna be respected.

My mum drove to Jusco to fetch me just now. I told her that I was in the bus & on the way home. But she never scold me, this is weird! When I asked her again where did she drop by, she told me Bukit Raja. And my sister even worse, she thought I went to sunway & she was thinking fetch me back after she finished her work. I told my mum that I wanna buy that odm watch when we were having dinner. Since she keep quiet, means I succeed, yay me! What am I trying to say? Simple & Easy, I'm loved by my family.

I think next time I should claim a iPhone 5 & see what's my parent's reaction. Will they buy? HAHA.

Finally, I watched "Great Day". I love this movie damn god much! 

Ask me how was it, I can tell you, it was impeccable.
Ask how long I've cried, I can tell you, 1 hour non-stop.
Ask me why is it nice, I can tell you, it is really touching & meaningful.
Ask me what I rated, I can tell you, it is 5 over 5!
Ask me describe & tell, I can tell you, why not get your ass off & watch it now?! 

Seriously you'll cry if you watched it. Unless your system is a bit abnormal or you're just freaking cold blooded. Don't hide your feeling, just cry. "This is not my style." Don't crap this in front of me. I won't believe. Aren't everybody has feeling?

Here is music to share. Every time I hear, my heart is aching. I miss them. :(

My advice to everyone, 

Don't ever being obscene & indecent in the public. This is Malaysia, not USA.

I don't mind if you don't care.

Today is the 6th day. I still having headache, body aching but luckily is better than yesterday. Maybe I'm gonna recover soon? Oh, I hope this is real. I need my voice back badly, I really can't live without singing. These day I always launch my Walkman without singing the songs out loud, this is sadden me ):

My homework haven't finish. But tomorrow I need to pass up all of them, gosh! Maybe I gonna rush tonight all of it tonight, sigh. Tomorrow I'll be back to school again. Hmm, hope I don't faint while walking to the bus station, God bless me. As a reminder for self,

Karangan, A.maths 2, Komsas notes, Physics & finally the most important is Moral!
Can I manage to finish all? Hmm, I guess no. But I'll try my best of best.

My appetite isn't as good as last time anymore. Feel like I myself having Nervosa. Oh haha, maybe I think too much? I can't take any heavy food like curry, sambal & blaa blaa blaa so on. Aww, I miss the food. Life isn't that enjoyable without delicious food. I hate to eat medicine. Of course, who would love medicine? My medicine can't last for 4 days. Since today is the third day, I hope my sickness will recover by tomorrow because I don't have much medicine left, zomg.

Today is birthday celebration for Chung & Serjay. So sorry I can't manage to attend the event. Argh, my mom doesn't allow me to go out because of my sickness! Ugh, I hate this. I feel myself being left out & I have the feeling, kind of bad. Ugh viruses, I hate you, please go away!

Lemon cake? HAHA. Geez, I start to miss Lemon Tea!

Back to Kpop again. Adam couple has ended their virtual marriage last Saturday. Aww, I gonna miss them badly! I said before that I surely will cry while watching the last episode & I seriously did! I even said that I won't go to the school next day after I watch & I also did it! Lol, I'm not kidding. 

They forever will remain in my mind & heart, I love you, adam couple! x 

I suddenly have a feeling of.. wanna go to the beach after watched WGM! OMG D:

Cr : Picture

How many times I've told myself, not to think about you again

Maybe I'm a bit emotional today, I check through your Facebook, your friends' Facebook & even your girlfriend's Facebook. Yeah compared to her, she is prettier & more talented than me. Okay, this is not the first time I check through these. But everytime I check, it hurts me lightly. Can't we have a good conversation?

Cause baby you're a firework.
Come on show 'em what your worth

I skipped my school. Yes, it's true. I skipped my school for 2 days. Thought that I could get myself a fully attendance since this is the last year in this school. Sadly to say, I failed! Since tomorrow is Thaipusam, so tomorrow is a holiday! So I gonna have 3 days off, how nice. Anyway,


Happy Thaipusam to all the Hindus friends!
Hope you guys do enjoy while celebrating this event. Tell me interesting parts!

Oh, my sickness hasn't recover yet, FML. How many days I gonna suffer again? I know this is the punishment from God. Oh God, please forgive me for what I've done. I'll change my bad habits & attitudes. And I'll start to do kinds for the rest of life without looking for the repays.

Tomorrow I'll be a bad girl, a bad child. Just like what Miss A sang,

You don't know me, so shut up boy poe!

Cr : Miss A - Good Girl Bad Girl

Cr : Banner 

I hate today, really.

Today is kind of worse. I can't believe myself woke up late in the morning. And of course, I'm late for school for about 15 mins. Today, 12 Jan is my first time I late for school in my high school life. Yes I’m serious, I never late for school before except today! Isn't my alarm working or what? Or maybe I was too tired? Every Tuesday is a nightmare for me. I need to stay in school for 10 hours then go tuition for another 6 hours. I spent almost 2/3 of my day just to study! Oh god, how I wish there will be 48 hours in Tuesday! 

I’m such a busy person just like the CEO in a company. I’m totally stressed out. 4 more notice boards waiting for me, presentation as my oral test,  builds up a model of a roller coaster, write synopsis for a story every twice in a month & so on. I’m a human, not a robot. Please think whether I can do it or not but not just picking me because I know how to. I lost my inspiration and interests for arts & I hate arts since that day I quit learning arts. Why are you guys pulling me back to the world again?

I finally understand why is our Prime Minister thinks that “1 Malaysia” is so important these days. I can see the true color of this world now. Wow, I never regret for sitting bus home, I should be glad. Okay today, bus is kind of crowd since it is the time for the schools’ activities end and private schools’ students finish their studies. I wonder, do the private schools teach “1 Malaysia” concept? I’m home just for a while. And just now there was quite lot of primary kids sitting bus home. Yes, the bus is really crowded. And I heard one of the students from private school is saying “omg, they are so smelly. I hate this smell. That’s why I don’t like ___.” I shouldn’t name the race relation. Yea, just because of this kind of people, this world has so much racist problems. Aren’t people who enters private school should be more polite and courteous? So what can I say? They spoil their image and their school image too. And I think these people really can send them to Sekolah Wawasan so they know how to respect other people :)

Okay let’s have an imagination now. Let’s think, you have a friend, who is so close with you. She/He did quite lot things for you that really helped you a lot especially you’re in trouble. But your mind thinks that “Yes, they should do this because she/he is my friend, of course she/he has to help me lah. If not I will hate her/him to the core!” Then you’re so wrong! Your friend isn’t your maid okay? Why should they do these things for you? Aren’t they having their own things to do? Why do they help you so much? There’s only two reasons.

One, they love you and they care for you. Of course the love is not only lovers. It can be friendship or family! Second, they hated you so much and trying to make your life worse.

But most of the reason is ONE. And now you are just like a kid who thinks that it is their “responsibility” to do all these things for you. What if they did not help you or failed to help you when you’re in trouble? Then you two have to be enemy? Just because of a small tiny thing then relationship go worse. In the end, who will care about the good and care? So, be thankful every time. If not, what for the thanksgiving session exists? I really hope everyone will care about the people around you.

Where's the peace? Smiles?

Okay, my storytelling ends here. There will be more and more complains in my blog. Soon, it will be a site for me to release my stress, Hah. So I must change, I need to think positively start from now. Life isn’t that hard right? There are always ups and downs in our life. So enjoy every moments you have. In the later age, it will be your sweet memories ever. JUST LIKE ME, I’m not that old but I miss my primary school life.

Credit : Banner

I not gonna miss you ; I mean it.

My blog just being so dead again. These days I don't know why I just don't feel like updating it. I spent myself too much on Korean dramas and movies and those awards! I even abandon my Facebook, Twitter & T-sina, AHA. The power of Korea :D

Oh well, school is gonna reopen. I'm freaking looking forward to it! I haven't buy my school bag, Hah. How am I gonna go to school without my school bag? Ma, you so evil. I told you about this and you acting like you don't care, so bad! Aww, I miss the laughter in my school. Since it's gonna be schooling day. I cut my nails., remove the nails polish. AH, *tears*

Ah, I miss you :(

Long time ago, I went to shopping with my cousins. I saw this this :)

I want the cups! ):

 I wish to be like him. Read the description tqvm :)

My fishy died few days ago. Ah, R.I.P okay? No one is gonna bully you now :)

I hate the fish who bite you until like this! >:(

Well, 5th of January! What a big day for me. TVXQ is gonna have a comeback album! Whee. And JYJ is gonna appear on SBS Good Morning. Ma, I hate you for never buy astro for me. I want Astro! And I can't believe I gonna used up my 4G memory cards for my phone in a year. My phone is lag like shit now, zomg. I think I need to remove something unnecessary. But it mostly are songs, NO! This is the disadvantages for loving too much artists, Hah wth! :D