I wish you're here

The fear of losing someone you love.

13th June 2015 was my saddest day in my entire life, for now. She is no longer here, with me. Though the promises we made to each other are no longer available, but her wise words shall remain. I missed my opportunity to say goodbye. I had it, but I missed it. The moment when I received the call from my dad, it was unforgettable and unforgivable. 

Now, she is gone. I am happy for her as she finally out of pains & suffers. I know the pains and suffers are unbearable. But, you were strong. Thank you for holding on until the last minute of it.

********

I was taught I need to keep a positive mind, as every day is a new day & great things are ahead. But sometimes, all the coincidences happened around me make me realized that things are meant to be. If it is meant to be happening, it really does. I can't change the fact that people do change, especially they lost their interest.

You don't born to please people.

But at least, give explanations & makes things clear. Idiotic mind and negative thoughts running all around, especially during nights.

Summary of my life.

Photo credit : x

Do you know I cry myself to sleep almost every night? 

Because of You.

Babo ni ga?

Beautiful nightmare

Time now - 3.46 a.m.

I do not have any idea why am I awake from my dream, suddenly. Now the main thing is, I rarely have nightmares. I used to forget about what I dreamt last night once I wake up from dream, even after just a few minutes. But, tonight is an exception. I can recall it so clearly. Was it because of all the little things that I am worried about? Or this actually hinting me something?

If I stay, would you?

I wish everything will turn out good, better or even at its best. But I know, He will always give things that you don't want. Set up all the challenges for you and make sure you are stronger once you walk out of the storm. So at the end of the story, the only person I can blame is I, myself.

I must say that I am an overbearing person, when comes to things that I do really care about. Though I may not speak it out as I don't wanna let others feel pressured or burden by my words. But you must know that I will feel insecure with things that I do not wish to happen.

Sweet dream, babe.

Wish I am a carefree person afterall.

At least, I won't get affected by just simple yet meaningless words.

A wish you wished for,

You know what matters the most to me? Trust. Because I do trust people easily, so please do not take it for granted.

A reminder to self,

No matter how others treat you. Just be kind and have courage.

Still long way to change my way of thinking.

I know I am being emotional these days. If you ever ask me what happened, I can barely tell you the exact answer. Just FYI, even elders do get mood swings sometime.

I've always been long for fairytales. That's why I've been always living in my fantasy. Though reality wakes me up all the time. Yes, I know this is the modern fairy tales, which makes no happy ending. But, I still insist.

I believe in faith.

The feeling of being protected, cared. 

♥

Photo cr : x

Chasing, as always

Here comes the second semester of my freshman year. How time passed. Oh, before that,

Hello 2015!

It is a bit late, but at least it is still the starting of the year. Couldn't get some leisure time for my favorite activities as I really waste a lot of precious on daydreaming..? Slacking..? Chitchatting..? I don't know. /crys
As time goes by, I really have no idea what are the things that I really crave for. I feel like I have lost myself. Used to be so confident and set my goals for everything but now they just getting far far away.

Don't let the past takes away today's happiness.

******

March is a joyful month, course-mates had their wonderful 21st birthday celebration, perhaps? Though we didn't go for fancy 21st celebration, but I hope it will become unforgettable memories for them. Also, I get to know new friends who totally surprised me out. Fat chance none of them gonna see this, but I still have to say.

Hello, please take good care of me.

Though I might be shy at first, but trust me,

I'll be one of the craziest friends you ever have.

Hope we get along well. /smiles

One step closer to miracle. x